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A Club in Malaysia Tells Its Members to Be Whores -- That Way, Their Husbands Don't Have to Use One

Posted: 26 Nov 2013 11:13 AM PST

In no other place have I seen so many women covered from head to feet in the traditional tudong (at least their faces are exposed), while their husbands walk next to them in shorts and graphic t-shirts. And in no other place in Southeast Asia have I had women look at me in disgust as I pass by them wearing my own shorts and graphic t-shirts.

Lina Eroh (Huffington Post)

Over afternoon tea a few months ago, my husband and I learned about an organization called the "Obedient Wives Club." It was founded in Malaysia in 2011 and the Penang branch counts several female doctors and other educated women amongst its members.

The goal of the club is as off-putting as its name: to teach wives how to submit to their husbands, in life and in bed.

The club has come under scrutiny for both its published works and vocal advocates, some of whom suggest that the only way a woman can keep her husband loyal is by acting like a "whore in bed." According to one woman who has friends in the club, lessons also focus on treating your husband like the "emperor" he is and introducing new sexual positions into the bedroom.

Which brings me to the situation of women in Malaysia, and perhaps to a larger extent, how women are viewed and hence view themselves within the lens of Islam. Malaysia, a predominantly Islamic country whose Muslim population is governed by Sharia law, is in many ways a patriarchal society where women are subordinate objects to men. In no other place have I seen so many women covered from head to feet in the traditional tudong (at least their faces are exposed), while their husbands walk next to them in shorts and graphic t-shirts. And in no other place in Southeast Asia have I had women look at me in disgust as I pass by them wearing my own shorts and graphic t-shirts. I've even seen girls as young as five wear head coverings and full length outfits despite it being 90+ degrees outside and there being no law in place requiring such dress.

Malay women aren't even supposed to leave their homes in the evening without being accompanied by their husbands -- not for safety, but for modesty. So if you were a typical Malay man, which meeting would you rather drive your wife to?

The one in which she talks about improving the government/education system/environment or the one in which she talks about improving... your sex life?

In every country I've been so far, I've tried to learn about and understand the local way of life. I've spoken to people about why they choose to bathe in the river when they have hot showers in their unoccupied guesthouses, why they don't send their children to school, and why they become prostitutes. I may not have agreed with the reasoning for their actions, but I tried to understand.

Malaysia has presented a unique problem. I simply can't understand why Malay women put up with a society that objectifies them to an extent that I can't imagine in my own life. I don't know why they let their husbands keep them at home and tell them what to wear, even as they drive around town in BMWs wearing shorts and t-shirts. And I wonder how they can consider themselves lucky to be married to men who through their behavior act no better than pigs... or pimps.

The answer, of course, is religion, or rather a strict and perhaps too convenient interpretation of Islamic texts. Malaysia makes it illegal for Malays to not be Muslim, but in the past it has tried to embrace secularity and modernity when it comes to its global policies. Recently, however, many politicians, journalists, and scholars have grown increasingly nervous that Malaysia is veering away from secularity to become a strict Islamic state.

There are noticeable hints on the ground that this change is indeed occurring. More women wear headscarves (or hijabs) than ever before, even though it's not required by law. Sharia law is in full effect, with signs in 7 Eleven reminding Muslims that it's illegal for them to drink alcohol and signs in fancy spas reminding Muslim men (but not women, seemingly since they'd never go to a Western spa alone) that it is forbidden for them to get massages by female masseurs. We've even learned of some public schools that don't have food service available for non-Muslim students during Ramadan, essentially forcing them to follow a tradition that's not their own. (After the student council at this school complained, the dean agreed to open one food cart with limited lunch hours for non-Muslim students. A student that bought food at the food cart was subsequently scolded by her Muslim teacher.)

And a Muslim woman who happens to be a dog trainer was recently investigated and jailed for her "unholy" actions, which consisted of walking three dogs past a mosque and then washing their feet. (There is some confusion as to whether or not Muslims are allowed to touch dogs. Most Malaysian Muslims seem to believe it's illegal, while Muslims from other countries say there are no laws against it.)

And it is in this societal context that women find themselves. By law, a Malay man is allowed to have four wives and countless numbers of divorces. Most men can't afford to have more than one wife at a time, since having multiple families (technically) means you support multiple women and children. But there's always that risk for the woman, the risk that her husband will ask her permission to take on another wife, or worse, just text her:

Talaq.

One time means we're having problems.

Two times means things are getting worse.

Talaq talaq talaq.

Three times.

That means it's over. For good. On legal grounds.

Teach your little darlings to think

Posted: 26 Nov 2013 10:24 AM PST

His father, a doctor, claimed the change at the eleventh hour without prior notice was "racially-motivated" and was to ensure non-Muslims — for whom Moral Studies is a required subject — score fewer As than Muslim students who have to sit the compulsory Islamic Studies paper.

Frankie D'Cruz, The Malay Mail

Last year a giant UK supermarket's poll of parents of children aged 18 to 25 years claimed one in three teenagers arriving for their higher education was unable to even boil an egg.

The survey also revealed the average student struggled with basic chores such as barely making toast for breakfast and not knowing how to make their bed in the morning.

The findings of this poll were disclosed by a college lecturer over the weekend during a talk on journalism. We were discussing the changes to the format of SPM Moral Studies paper by the Examination Syndicate that had caused confusion among students and parents.

The lecturer said that in her 12-year experience with institutions of higher learning she had come across students who lacked the ability to carry out simple tasks in life.

She said the robotic tutorials in schools have created students who struggle to think out of the box. "Parents need to teach their little darlings how to do the simplest things in living skills.

"Then, we wouldn't have a situation where parents and students growl when creativity and critical thinking are encouraged as in the Moral paper."

Consider: Over the past two years, students were told that they only needed to memorise the 36 moral values and answer accordingly during the exam.

The 36 values are categorised into seven major fields — self-development, family, nature, patriotism, human rights, democracy and peace and harmony.

Obviously, any change in format without prior notice will cause confusion. So was the case among students and teachers.

One student in my neighbourhood who is incredibly competent at using gadgets and technology came to see me with his parents and asked me if The Malay Mail would highlight the racial element in the changes to the Moral paper.

His prejudiced remark must be in the running for the Ugly Malaysian 2013 grand prize. And right up there is also Pandan MP Rafizi Ramli who told a news portal at the height of the issue that the problem was symptomatic of the fragile race relations in the country.

Rafizi reportedly said: "People do not trust the system and the government. The majority have long felt that the subject (Moral Studies) only serves to penalise them (non-Malays).

You decide where Rafizi is coming from. You figure out why race has been dragged in. Aren't we all bored with unintelligent interpretations?

What came across as refreshing though were the points put across by Sarala Poobalan in her letter to the editor:

She wrote that the format used to prepare the paper was heading in the right direction. "Our students are being prepared for thinking outside the box skill although it is currently only for the Moral paper."

I agree with her that it's worrying that the change in the format was not made known to teachers and students.

I agree with her that this was unprofessional and unbecoming of the Examination Syndicate in preparing a national examination paper.

I am not too sure however if all the students would have been able to prepare mentally if they had been told of the format because the Malaysian education system has been focused on standardised testing and memory recall.

Sarala says nobody likes surprises, especially during a major public examination, but agree or disagree, creative impulses are often stifled by a continuation of the instructive approach to teaching that dominates primary and secondary education.

In the push for better grades, creativity is often considered as having no place in the classroom as teachers transmit facts and procedures in a regimented manner to students.

Kredit: www.malaysia-today.net

Rabu, 27 November 2013

Malaysia Today - Your Source of Independent News

Malaysia Today - Your Source of Independent News

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