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Malaysian Trivia

Posted: 20 May 2011 01:16 PM PDT

By Laughamology Incorporated

AntiLYNASia is the state of finding out that  Malaysian people are uniting against mass radioactive radiation poisoning.

The total weight of all the brains of the Ministers is about the same as the weight of all the promises made by the same ministers during their election campaign…ziltch! 
 
Corruption is means the same as "Money politics". 
 
When you kill someone with C4, you can escape to London under  the guise of furthering  your studies (this after being acquitted without ever being  called for trial). 
 
AnwarDAPphobia is the fear that somehow Anwar Ibrahim will be the PM and DAP will rule the country with just 40 elected MPs. 
 
You can lie while holding your holy book in a court of law and swearing  in holy places will make your allegation however ridiculous it may be somehow the absolute truth. 
 
Typewriter is the longest English word that can be made by using only one row of a keyboard. Interestingly most Ministers and Chief Minister can't even spell it let alone speak English. 

Development promises such as "You help me, I help you", an ingredient in the election campaign, originally came from broken promises and outright lies
 
Having a sex video and showing it in a posh hotel can get you special police protection and the privilege of wearing a bullet proof vest in a mosque. 
 
Cracking your knuckle on a detainee thus giving him a black eye will hurt your position as a top cop and the position of the  top politician too . 
 
If you touch your conscience while lying, you can stop lying and be an honest person but sadly our politician doesn't have a conscience. Heck…they don't even have a heart! 
 
Lightning is five times hotter than the sun but a stupid remark from a homely minister is faster that lightning and full of hot air (ironic isn't it….it's full but there's nothing in it actually!) 
 
Newborn babies cry but have no tears – Old and senile politician can fake crying but shed "real" tears! 
 
No word in the current Malaysian cabinet  vocabulary is synonym with Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility and Equality. They only know one word, that is 1that, 1this and I want that and I want this! 
 
There are 43,252,003,274,489,856,000 possible configurations to Rubik's Cube. Compared to the number of times a politician can cheat their electorate that's not very impressive.  

The only place you can die of slow radiation poisoning is in Gebeng.  Want to try it??? 
 
The sound heard while the RMN newest submarine was trying to submerge and failing was "Dive, Dive, Dive…..err…..where's the manual?"  

In Malaysia a monopoly is called Khazanah Nasional. 
 
The average person has between 1,460 and 2,190 dreams a year. In Malaysia, dream is the only thing we have not much else. 

Sixty five per cent of politicians lie when they open their mouth. The rest can't even distinguish between lying and telling the truth. 
 
On a clear night, the lights that illuminate The Petronas twin tower can be seen from 30 miles away. Over 600 miles away, longhouse residents  in Sarawak doen't have electricity even though they are living just a few miles away from a huge hydroelectric dam. 
 
The smallest human male sexual reproductive organ ever recorded was roughly 1cm long. The biggest was the size of a submarine…oh..wait - I am referring to their over-inflated ego.  
 
Watch the video of the FLOM making ridiculous statement about the recent Tsunami that hit a Japanese city and be shocked.

 

Steep Decline Of IMD Competitiveness Rankings Proves Investors Has Had Enough Of Najib's ...

Posted: 20 May 2011 10:25 AM PDT

By Tony Pua

Our global competitiveness rankings for 2011 as produced by the Switzerland-based Institute of Management Development (IMD) ranked Malaysia 16th out of 59 countries, marking a significant drop of 6 places from 10th in 2010.  This was after a much-hyped jump in rankings from 18th in 2009 to 10th last year.

While the overall rankings decline is disappointing, it is shocking to discover that our ranking for 'government efficiency' and 'business efficiency' tanked from 9th and 4th to 17th and 14th respectively.

What is worse is to for the Minister of International Trade and Industry to justify the drastic drop in rankings due to the fact that these two categories are measured on "perception" and hence insinuating that they are not accurate!
 
Mustapa Mohamed's statement in response to the above rankings decline emphasized the fact that it was due more to "perception-based factors" which declined as opposed to "real/hard data" which showed our "Economic Performance" rankings improving marginally from 8th to 7th this year.
 
On the contrary, when there were reported improvements last year when the country was ranked 9th and 4th respectively for these 2 categories, the Minister did not hesitate to pour praises on the Government's performance. 

His statement last year had exclaimed "the remarkable advancement in our Government Efficiency rating" and he was gloating that based on "Government and Business Efficiency ratings, Malaysia's performance is now ahead of developed countries such as Luxembourg, Switzerland, Canada, Denmark and Sweden."
 
Why didn't the Minister qualify his "joy" by saying that the improvements were just "perception" and not based on "real/hard data" last year?
 
However, if it is really a problem of just "perception" as highlighted by the Minister, then perhaps the entire public relations team in Pemandu as well as the Prime Minister's Department, such as APCO should be sacked for doing such a terrible job in improving the "perception" of our Government despite the hundreds of millions which have been spent on public relations and related exercises.
 
The fact is, the Government has never done or spent so much public relation exercises, launched in conjunction with multiple programmes - NEM, GTP, ETP, 10MP etc. written beautifully by expensive consultants such McKinsey and Boston Consulting Group.
 
The steep decline in rankings for these 2 categories is due to the fact that the business community and the public at large have seen through the glossy "transformation" programmes, the snazzy event launches and the choreographed speeches delivered by our Ministers and Government.
 
After more than 2 years of "transformation" rhetoric, they have realised the real change has not been forthcoming, critical reforms have been quietly shelved while government business favouring politically-connected parties are continuing business as usual.
 
Very simply, no amount of fancy PR consultants will be able to change that "perception" if the Government fails to deliver on its promises of change and transformation.
 
Both the Prime Minister and Minister of International Trade and Industry must recognise that it is the Government's failure to implement the necessary reforms as well as its repeated U-turns in policy-making which has caused the stark drop in global competitiveness rankings. 

The failure of Najib Abdul Razak to recognise this will only result in further loss of competitiveness and ultimately the failure to breakout of our middle income trap to achieve the much coveted 'high-income status'.
 
 
TONY PUA IS DAP National Publicity Secretary and MP for Petaling Jaya Utara

Of Naked Paunches and Disappearing Goatees

Posted: 19 May 2011 09:28 PM PDT

How much of critical importance is this sex video to me? Very very critical. I am sick of the hypocrisy of our country's leaders whom we have voted into office. And I am not about to replace them with characters just as bad, or worse.
 
By Dr Ariff Effendy

The debate on the authenticity of the sex video purportedly showing Dato Seri Anwar patronising a prostitute has bewildered me, to say the least. Everyone seems to be either an expert in videography or has seen Anwar naked so often as to be able to determine if indeed he has the belly of a 40-year old.

That the whistle-blowers are not exactly of impeccable reputation is a reality in public opinion. That the powers that be are capable of manipulating circumstances in a situation that will benefit them, is also a probability.  

I should then just ignore the video.

To be absolutely honest though, I have not been able to. It does bother me. Not because I really care about another person's carnal activities nor am I such a righteous person sincerely wanting to offer salvation to the misguided.  

It is the blatant hypocrisy that disturbs me.  

None of the whistle-blowers have been convicted in a court of law, yet we are quick to dish out our judgement of their character. Perhaps they have escaped the arms of the law because of the selective prosecution wanton in our country presently. Yes, that is a probability. Damn them for upsetting our apple-cart though.

I don't have to listen to these characters' judgement of Anwar but I am curious about the case they had presented. If Hitler had said the Aryans are the superior race, I would have ignored that judgement coming from a racist supremacist. However, just because Hitler said two plus two totals four, I'm not going to dispute it just because it comes from a mad man. You see, facts can be determined independently of the carrier of the message.

 

So how come the authenticity of the video and the identity of its participants seem so difficult to determine? It's not rocket science. The same people who believe that the video is a fraud made using technologies not even available to the CIA, KGB and Mossad, seem reluctant to resort to proven technology readily available to identify the video's participants.

 

So maybe there's no legal reason to do that as none of the country's laws have been broken and a royal commission that has been mooted should focus on more critical matters.

How much of critical importance is this sex video to me? Very very critical. I am sick of the hypocrisy of our country's leaders whom we have voted into office. And I am not about to replace them with characters just as bad, or worse.

 

I am very alarmed that an unfair allegation has been made against Anwar and yet Anwar who wants me to trust him to be my leader has refused to sue these people for defamation. If he doesn't trust this country's courts, then let us ask if he is willing to sue in United Kingdom if those people repeat the defamatory statements in the UK? Then Malaysians like me will have the benefit of the latest technology to resolve this matter if their defence is that of justification.

 

Whoever wins or loses, it is the rakyat that actually win. We are with him. Is he with us?

Or if he is partial to Islamic traditions, just do the "sumpah laknat" and get it over with. Public opinion will swing to him away from those rouges. After all, he has nothing to worry about as we all are very sure that Anwar the propagator of "penyerapan nilai-nilai Islam" in governance while he was in government would be the last person to patronise a prostitute.

 

"Sumpah Laknat" may not be the most optimum religious act according to the swirling controversy surrounding it. But it is a way that is effective among the masses to discredit the video. Anwar should do it.  If his intention is sincere in saving the ummah, Allah will be with him.

 

I have reduced all this fog to just simply wanting to know the truth about my aspiring leader. This is not about the character of the rogues or the appropriateness of "sumpah laknat" or the fairness of our courts.

 

It is about whether person in the video is Anwar and whether there was a gun to his head while he was committing the act. The rest is just anybody's spin to divert the issue.

It is the hypocrisy that I can't stand. From whosoever.

Save Malaysia Stop Lynas - Memorandum to The Australian High Commissioner

Posted: 19 May 2011 09:21 PM PDT

As your country is the originator of this dangerous material it is only right that your country take responsibility for its presence here in this country.

By Vincent Jiam (Chairperson, Save Malaysia Committee)

HIS EXCELLENCY
AUSTRALIAN HIGH COMMISSIONER TO MALAYSIA
KUALA LUMPUR

Your Excellency
RE: LYNAS ADVANCED MATERIAL PLANT (LAMP) NOW UNDER CONSTRUCTION IN GEBENG, KUANTAN , MALAYSIA.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We the residents of Kuantan, Pahang, Malaysia are extremely concerned over the proposed construction and operation of the above plant.

It is common knowledge that :
1) LAMP will be processing rare earths oxide which contains Thorium
2) Thorium is a known radioactive material.
3) The mineral monazite which contains the Thorium is mined at Mount Weld in Western Australia and will be shipped to Kuantan, through Freemantle Port for processing at LAMP.

As your country is the originator of this dangerous material it is only right that your country take responsibility for its presence here in this country.

We are not convinced by the assurances of LAMP, (and others allied to their cause), that the LAMP is safe. If it truly were so, surely then your country should readily keep that industry within its borders, or at the very least, be prepared to take back the waste (which contains the deadly thorium). But your country has flatly refused to take back their own waste.
Source The Star: 12/04/2011, Pg. N.23

Malaysians have had experience with Thorium, in the Bukit Merah plant in Ipoh, Perak. The consequences of that fiasco are still continuing. Children born deformed or retarded are still alive but unable to articulate their plight while some have lost their lives to cancer.

LAMP claims that their plant is totally different from that of the Bukit Merah facility and that the levels of radioactivity is very low. But we remain unconvinced, nor are we prepared to experiment with our health and lives and those of our future generations.

We, the residents of Kuantan, appeal to your higher values and call upon you to do all that you can to stop the shipment of this Thorium containing material from your country.

Surely, your country being a respectable member of the international community would not allow an International Convention to be flouted or circumvented.

Your Excellency, we the people of Kuantan do not want in our midst LAMP and for that matter any other company that produces any form of radioactive material.

Your Excellency, does it not seem unconscionable to you that ore containing this radioactive material should be shipped 4000km from your country to Malaysia for the monetary gain of LAMP while the people of Kuantan are left to face the long term effects of the obnoxious waste?

This Thorium waste, as your Excellency would already know, is radioactive and has a ½ life of 14 billion years. Thus, for generations to come, we the people of Malaysia will be exposed to the risks of radioactive contaminations.

Your Excellency, this Movement is inspired by the most lofty ideals - that of human lives and health. We are resolved to continue our struggle to safeguard our air, water and soil from LAMP's (and others') deadly wastes. The vast majority of Malaysians share our mission. We again exhort you to do all that you can within your power to stop the dangerous ore from leaving your own shores.

We trust you understand and share our concerns. Many Australians in fact already do, as the Internet reveals.

Mr Robin Chapple, MLC, Member for the Mining and Pastoral Region is "deeply worried" as expressed in his media release dated 13/04/2011.

I annex a copy of the release downloaded from the internet for your further reading.

I trust that you will act as a good citizen of the world, and of Australia in particular.

Yours sincerely,

…………………………………………………………………
Vincent Jiam
Chairperson, Save Malaysia Committee

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